Eyes (1982 Arcade Game Review)

Eyes
Platform: Arcade
Developed by Digitrex Techstar
Published by Rock-Ola (US) Zaccaria (Europe)
First Released in 1982
NEVER BEEN RE-RELEASED

You can practically feel the cynicism during the planning session. “Pac-Man is popular. What’s Pac-Man? A mouth! Well, what else is on a face that we can turn into our popular game?” “A NOSE!” “A nose, Greg? Goddamn, a f*cking nose? You’re fired! Anyone else?” “Uh.. eyes?” “EYES! Make a game where an eye eats things!” “Eyes don’t eat. They see.” “THEN MAKE A GAME WHERE EYES SEE THINGS! JEEZ LOUISE DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?”

Eyes holds a minor significance in my life as the first ever game I remember playing on MAME. The name stuck out to me. Some companies went all out with catchy names that grabbed your attention. Q*Bert. Zaxxon. Even Centipede, which is actually a real thing, still pops on a game list. This has none of that. EYES. It’s practically like saying “yep. Just ‘Eyes!’ Deal with it!” In a sense, it stood out by not standing out. Published by Rock-Ola, the famous jukebox manufacturer that’s still around to this day (they turn a century old in 2027) and developed by Digitrex Techstar, I initially pegged Eyes as a soulless Pac-Man coattail rider. But, I was wrong. Actually, it’s not even really a maze chase. I mean, it wants to be one, I think, but actually It’s a run-of-the-mill tank game, and not a very good one.

I’m the eye at the bottom of the screen.

Eyes features eight screens but really only one single maze where you have to fire projectiles from your eye to both kill enemies and also collect.. or possibly destroy, it’s not clear.. the things in the mazes. Like Pac-Man, the object is to collect all the objects. You’re not just being chased, as the other eyes shoot at you. Your projectiles are unlimited and travel the full length of the screen but disappear if they hit something. Likewise, the enemies can and will shoot the full length of the screen as well. Once you clear the 8th stage, that level seems to repeat forever. There’s undoubtedly something here that makes you want to enjoy it even if it does feel like it’s trying a little too hard to be 80s arcade quirky. The problem is, it’s just not fun.

The fact that you can fire more than one projectile at a time seemed nice until I realized what the developers must have: the game would be impossible after a certain point without it.

The biggest issue is that the “maze” just isn’t that interesting, seemingly tailored for neither excising chasing nor exciting tank combat. Once enemies become more aggressive and fire on you faster, you have no choice but to play conservatively and squeeze out distance between you and the baddies, usually one row at a time. By the sixth level, gameplay in Eyes is reduced down to bobbing back and forth like you’re doing the hokey pokey, waiting for enemies to peak around the corner and tagging them in the split second they’re exposed, before they’ll turn the corner and shoot you. Ironically for a game called EYES, enemies don’t blink when they respawn, and they will fire immediately upon spawning. Each enemy spawns in a specific location and always respawns there a second or two after you shoot them, but since they all look the same, the main challenge becomes keeping track of which is which and where they’ll respawn. Does that sound fun? Cuz it ain’t.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The one remarkable thing about Eyes is that, despite using the same maze with the same target locations and the same enemy starting points, it doesn’t feel like it’s only one maze. That’s probably because the scaling is so badly handled. The first four levels or so are too easy, while level five is the only one that has a nice balance to it. From the sixth level onward, it’s all wiggling back and forth, all the time. Since your projectiles and enemy projectiles don’t cancel each-other out, you’re left with no choice but to camp and wait. The enemies realize this too because eventually they’ll just sit on the other side of a wall YOU’RE parking on and wait as well. I suppose in that sense, Eyes is one of the first cover-based shooters in gaming history. But it’s dull and the scoring balance isn’t very rewarding and there’s just no tension to it. It’s a slog. One of those games lost to history because it wasn’t all that good in the first place. Certainly nowhere near the worst arcaders. God, no. Actually, I think there’s potential here, but Eyes can’t decide if it’s trying to be a thrilling maze chase or an intense tank combat game. Maybe you can do both, but not this way.
Verdict: NO!
I avoided using the following cliches: if looks could kill, the eyes have it, the eyes are windows to the soul, eye-eye captain, and so-forth. You’re welcome.