Drive Fast Think Faster

Drive Fast Think Faster was tragically born without a comma.  That’s just one of many birth defects that plague this reflex-tester.  The idea is you steer a car across a tie-dye stunt course, changing your car’s color to match whatever scheme the course is about to change to.  A changes it to green, B changes it to red, and X changes it to blue.  Y and Yellow is ignored, because fuck yellow.  Am I right?

Drive Fast is probably another example of a developer getting too good at their own game, because this thing is as hard as Jason Stackhouse after he overdosed on V.  On the first level, I got the fastest recorded time of anyone who has just finished one stage.  That’s pretty much as far as I’ll make it, because once I got to level two, the game required a level of reaction time that I simply don’t posses.  In theory, Think Faster is a color-matching game, like Guitar Hero.  In practice, you have to continuously hold the analog stick and fight the physics while matching colors.  I couldn’t do it.  I really did give it a shot, but the lack of checkpoints was too demoralizing.  If you fall through the course, you have to start the stage over from the beginning.  I have no clue how close I actually came to the finish line, but it might as well have been on the dark side of the moon.  After an hour of trying, I headed over to Xbox.com to grab the screenshots I would need for this review, saw the picture below, and decided to bail while I have some sanity left.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd fuck it, I quit.

I don’t know if Drive Fast Think Faster was intentionally designed to be a punisher.  Probably.  The second stage starts with a trial-and-errorish series of jumps that require more luck with the physics than actual skills, but this quickly changes to more high-speed color-matching crap that gets old fast.  So, no, I don’t like Drive Fast Think Faster.  I don’t want to make a cop-out “it just wasn’t for me” review, so I do declare that it can lock itself in a garage with the motor running and choke to death on its own multicolored exhaust.

Think Faster Drive Faster was developed by Zebra Games

80 Microsoft Points want to be able to buy just the lime-colored Skittles in the making of this review.