Gangbusters (Arcade Review)

Whoops. This wasn’t my intended review today. I was GOING to play Data East’s Real Ghostbusters arcade game next. I loaded the wrong file (GBusters.. I mean, anyone could make THAT mistake, right?). I was annoyed, but then I saw that I’d loaded-up a 1988 Konami coin-op I’d never heard of called Gangbusters. Oooh. Intriguing! I had to investigate further. I saw this was the first full directing job by Satoru Okamoto, who was also the director of Wild West C.O.W. Boys of Moo Mesa, which I liked fine enough. Then I saw Gangbusters looks sort of like a cartoony version of Commando or Gun.Smoke. And then, I found out it’s NEVER been ported. Not to consoles or computers. In any form. Ever. Okay, that’s right up my alley. I never considered there could be an obvious reason why it never got ported.

God, it looks like it’s going to fun, doesn’t it?

Like Violent Storm before it, this is a Konami release where it could have very well been a Capcom release and I wouldn’t have guessed if I hadn’t seen the logo. It sure plays like Capcom’s top-down shooters, with a difficulty curve shaped like a reverse “L” made of pointy bricks. It’s a shame, too, because Gangbusters handles power-ups in a clever way. They’re represented by little red-coated enemies who do their best to attack you. When you shoot them, unlike other enemies, they don’t die. Instead, they’re disabled, and then you “arrest them” and gain a power-up. It’s a neat idea, and it gets even better. You actually tie them up with a rope and lead them around, because scattered throughout the levels are police vans. Leading captured enemies to the back of the vans earns you valuable bombs that can clear out the screen. That’s a great gameplay idea! It’s also literally the only thing Gangbusters does right.

There’s only a handful of “set pieces” like this. Mostly it’s just smaller turrets. The levels always seem like they’re about to hit their stride, and it never happens. It’s such a tease.

At only four average-sized levels in length, you would think Gangbusters barely has enough time to frustrate or annoy. However, it goes overboard with the difficulty to such an absurd degree that it’s wrecking ball to the entertainment value. This plays exactly like a twin stick shooter, only without the ability to move one direction and shoot another. Instead, the game uses a really stupidly simple two-button design with an eight-way joystick. One button for bullets and one for the bombs. Enemies will come from every direction, but the only way to shoot them is to point at them. Pointing, of course, means physically moving in their direction. When the levels are designed to be cramped via buildings and various other barriers, having to move towards ANY enemy would be bad enough. In a game where those enemies are shooting at you it crosses the line into unreasonable. By the third level, they’re shooting at you in intervals that seem perfectly synced with your ability to step out of the way. The biggest challenge becomes getting a clean shot off. That kind of design works for modern FPS games, but this style? A top down arcader? It’s just boring.

Even when the levels “open up” they really don’t. Like in this area? In theory, I can walk anywhere. In practice, the overwhelming majority of the screen is occupied by these seemingly indestructible trains that have guys shooting at you. Oh, and two guys at the top of the screen who can poke out from cover to shoot at  you. Oh oh, and the guy I have roped up? Yea, he could break free and begin shooting at me too. It’s too much.

When I tried playing without cheating, I found that once I lost the upgrades that I gathered on the first stage, I was screwed. The most basic weapon, and really even the first couple upgrades, are worthless by time you reach the end of the second stage. I found myself BEGGING for a Contra-like spread gun. It sucks that the best element of Gangbusters, the upgrade system, is also inherently its downfall. It’d been so much more fun if there was a variety of guns. What you actually do have to work with isn’t going to be enough, fully charged or not. Even when the enemy count on the screen is low, it’s not so much how many baddies there are as where they’re coming from, and how much room you have to dodge their attacks.

That’s especially true during “boss fights” which are really just stationary screens where enemies enter the battlefield via a door in formations and attack in waves. Yea, it’s a Konami game with no actual boss fights, at least until you reach the finale. If Gangbusters has a means to disappoint, it typically does. Now I know how my parents feel about me.

And, because Gangbusters is a visually loud game, bullet visibility is a major issue. Death took me completely by surprise more often than not. Also, the game forces you to the edges of the screen to dodge attacks or work your way around the level layout, then will spawn enemies right on top of you. It’s so cheap. Yea, you can upgrade your gun to rockets that pierce on-foot enemies, but it’s rarely useful once you reach the third stage. Enemies stop fighting in bunches and spread out even more, and the game relies more heavily on turrets (which the rockets do not pierce). By this point, even the most basic enemies will score kills on you because you can’t possibly defend from every angle with the tools you’re given. Especially since enemies.. you know.. RUSH YOU and you have to.. you know.. MOVE TOWARDS THEM JUST TO SHOOT in a playfield that’s.. you know.. CROWDED AS ALL HELL! ARRGH!!

By the fourth stage, I was convinced nobody has ever beat this game legitimately. I’d be impressed if I saw it. Truly. Gangbusters is pretty much reduced to being an on-foot bullet hell by the end.

I don’t know what Konami expected out of Gangbusters. In terms of action, it’s a step down from Capcom’s Gun.Smoke from three years earlier, which offered players the flexibility to shoot at different angles than what you were facing. I genuinely believe that, if Konami had gone with anything but the two button design they implemented here, this might have rose to the level of decent. It’s astonishing how quickly Gangbusters loses its luster and stops being fun. It’s really pretty awful, and now it makes sense why this has no following and has faded into complete obscurity. The entertainment value lasts, oh, halfway through the first stage before you realize that Gangbusters is an exceptionally cruel game. This is further hammered home by the fact that a game over IS a game over. No continues. At least when you play solo.

UPDATE: There ARE continues, but the option is unmarked on the dip switches in every version of MAME I used (and I always use more than one as a precaution). In my heart of hearts, I don’t believe this would have affected my ultimate verdict, since I actively cheated with save states. But of course, having continues would have absolutely altered my play session and experience. Konami clearly didn’t think arcade operators should use them. (Shrug) I stand by this review. Gangbusters isn’t fun. Period.

The final boss. Now, mind you, I cheated like I was studying under Gaylord Perry to get to this point. I’d set the machine to give the max amount of lives it offered AND banked a full set of lives. I tried to play it legit with no cheating. Yea, didn’t take. That black ball in the center of the screen is a heat-seeking bomb. Some sections in the final level have these things chasing you WHILE machine gun turrets fire at you. You would not believe the lengths Gangbusters goes to in order to get a player off the coin-op. As if THIS piece of crap excuse for a game would have people lining up to play it or something.

Even when I restarted the game and adjusted the dip switches down to the easiest setting, the only noticeable difference was the first level was easier. It doesn’t last, and by the end of the second area, you’d swear you’re playing on the maximum difficulty. By the fourth level, I seriously questioned if anyone ever legitimately beat this. Maybe the game is easier or allows for continues in co-op. I didn’t test this. Yea, there’s a co-op mode. I didn’t get a chance to play it. My family aren’t beholden to help me out. This time around, it was totally my fault. They saw my seething, swearing rage and were like “why would we want to play something you hate?” I need a better poker face. “Oh, yea, I’m having a blast! Dying every two seconds in a bare bones shooting game that I’m not having fun with at all. Time of my life! Want play with me?”

Gangbusters is NOT Chick Approved

Gangbusters was developed by Konami

I guess you can say this didn’t go over like..

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

Gangbusters in the making of this review.