Robot Platformer

Robot Platformer is pretty much what the name suggests: a tactical strategy RPG where you navigate a platoon of ravenous chipmunks through the aisles of a K-Mart hoping to land a blue light special on some off-brand footwear.  You control Mr. Finkies, the leader of the pack whose family was tragically cut down by nah I’m just fucking with you, it’s an utterly generic platformer made by some Danish twit.  And I find the whole “robot” thing suspect.  It looks more like a masked killer from a slasher movie.  Personally, I liked my plot idea better.  Feel free to steal it.

What makes Robot Platformer stick out is its graphics style.  It looks an awful lot like a sketch book come to life.  In a way, you can picture the entire game taking place between the margins of a text-book.  It’s a fun look that takes a bit of the sting out of what is, at heart, a samey-bland platforming romp.  There’s forty-two levels that have various goals.  Most of the time you simply have to get to the exit.  Sometimes you’ll have to eliminate all the baddies in a stage, and sometimes you’ll have to get to the exit before time runs out.  Sometimes you’ll have to do both.

My biggest complaint is the controls are a tad clunky.  Jumping feels too heavy while shooting feels too slow.  Collision detection seems a bit off as well.  I also don’t like how the entire stage darkens up as you take more damage.  The difficulty curve is really strange too.  You’ll be twenty boards into the game when, out of nowhere, it tosses you a level that feels more like an introductory stage and takes mere seconds to beat.  It’s like taking a quantum physics quiz and being asked at some point which way is up.

Robot Platformer wears the art-house game badge without shame.  It’s got a really awesome jazzy soundtrack that is completely out-of-place, but oddly fitting at the same time.  Although the controls are a bitch at times, it should only take around an hour to finish the game, and I can honestly say that I didn’t dislike the experience.  I guess I’m giving it a mild recommendation.  It’s not an enthusiastic one.  It’s like recommending a meal of Mexican food.  It’ll be palatable enough to eat and you might even get some satisfaction out of finishing it.  Then later you won’t even remember eating it at all while wondering where all this diarrhea came from.

Robot Platformer was developed by Cored

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